The feudal era: A cliched tale of events
by lone saiyan woman
Summary: Inuyasha and kikyo betray our local miko in the most typical of ways, with no one else to run to who will confort her in her darkest hour...Parody oneshot!


**Hi guys I'm tired of going through the shit storm that is Inuyasha fandom trying to find one piece of nugget in so much poop! So I have compiled a bunch of clichés I have found in my time of browsing. I present to you a series of common plot bunnies. Dont get me wrong I like some of these plot bunnies BUT ONLY written well not bloody abused. This was never meant to be serious, I rushed this and wrote it within an hour. IT IS MEANT TO BE REMINISENT OF HOW LONG THIS CRAP USUALLY TAKES TO WRITE. Without further ado go forth and rot your brains.**

The sun was glowing with glee as Kagome climbed out of the wooden well in a good mood, her back pack was filled with all the flavours of ramen for her one and true love Inuyasha. She had gotten chicken ramen, beef ramen, cheese ramen, goat ramen, rotten banana ramen and his favourite blood ramen!

She couldn't wait for tonight Inuyasha had promised to mate her finally; she could just envision her first experience with her hanyou lover. He would savagely bite her neck sucking her dry as she writhed in pleasure from the blood and entrails that covered her body. Despite being dry as a bone in a desert she would find salvation and Jesus would finally come as Inuyasha made her cum sand over and over and over and over and over...repeat.

She merrily skipped to the village a happy smile upon her cherubic face, as she approached the village suddenly thunderclouds appeared as she approached the woods, something was amiss.

As she walked further the sound of screeching animals assaulted her ears, despite the obvious crazy dog, monkey and spider sex happening Kagome still couldn't stop her curiosity.

"I wonder what is going on? That couldn't possibly be my only true mate Inuyasha?" She wondered, but alas she was right.

Inuyasha was raping a clay pot while howling to the wind, "Yes my one true mate I love you my crockery!"

Kikyo replied with a, "clink clink" sound.

Kagome bawled her eyes out, "NO000o0o0o0o0o0o" while bashing her fists in to soil.

Inuyasha snarled at her while continuing to molest the clay pot, "you are hitting part of my mate you bitch"

Inuyasha gathered the bones and dirt back into the clay pot and continued his dastardly deed.

"Kikyo and I have been meeting every second, of everyday of every month of every year just to do this" He laughed gleefully as Kagome produced a knife and began cutting her wrists.

Laughing like the evil granny rapist and baby puncher he was, he gathered some of the grave yard soil and threw it in Kagome's face and kissed the cracking pot.

Unable to stand anymore Kagome ran away from the scene unable to take anymore, she cried all the tears in the world creating a small flood as she left the maniacal laughter and clinking noises behind.

Kagome ran into her friends who were camping 2 trees near the fucking site.

"Inuyasha cheated on me" Kagome wailed while the howling sounds of Inuyasha could still be heard.

"O no how could he!" Sango cried with her.

"Yes! How could he" Miroku growled while rubbing Sango and Kagome's buttocks.

"Herp Derp!" Shippo cried hugging his mother dearest looking as cute as herpes.

They all bawled for two hours straight until Kagome felt her bathing sense tingling.

"I'm dirty guys time for a BATH!" They all cheered in happiness.

"You can't come you stinking feudal era pigs"

Shippo, Sango, Miroku, Rin , Jaken and An Uh, "Awwwed" in disappointment.

"Hold on a sec you wern't here" Kagome scratched her head in confusion.

Rin grinned her toothy grin, while Jaken derped about filthy humans.

Shrugging her shoulders Kagome skipped along to the hot springs.

**Meanwhile at the hotsprings...**

Lord sexy was relaxing in the hot springs, he rubbed his eyes that were filling up with tears of sadness.

"I have no human to protect, I have no mate in my life and my loins burn with the desire to mate"

He continued to sob into the pool until he smelled the most intoxicating, beautiful, mouth watering, delicious, riveting, stinking, smelling scent he ever had the joy of smelling. The smell was so sexy it rose his horny levels over 9000! Looking for the scent and seeing nobody his penis grew to max power. The scent was taking too long and Lord hotness couldn't control his desires anymore, he quickly jumped out the springs to approach the nearby tree that had a massive hole big enough for all of his 20 inches until he saw her.

It seemed in the two times he had seen her this human's bra size had tripled to double XYZ's her hips had widened to the size of the equator and her butt as ballooned so much she could float on air.

DAMN SHE IS FINE!

Sesshoumaru slobbered uncontrollably, how could he have missed this goddess of dog sex, Sesshoumaru quickly grabbed the woman while humping her leg.

"You are my mate now, I love you"

Kagome's eyes twinkled as she eyed the most perfect, hottest, beefed up, big dicked, long dicked, wide dicked demon she had ever seen. Look at all 16 of his abs, his hair shining like so bright it looked like semen in the moonlight. His eyes yellow like urine and his anaemic skin turning her on.

"I love you lets mate"

Sesshoumaru impaled Kagome on all of his 20 inches of demon hotness while Kagome screamed in pleasure. He made sure to lick her pussy and bite her neck to ensure maximum pleasure of course.

**AFTER 3 YEARS OF STRAIGHT SEX**

"Now we are mates forever, If I die you die!" Sesshoumaru happily announced.

Kagome cried with happiness at the prospect of dying with her one true love.

Kagome and Sesshoumaru walked back to camp site hand in hand, rainbows, butterflies and unicorns followed them as the sun shined all its sunny might onto the new Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie of the feudal era.

As they walked in, Inuyasha came crawling on the ground crying and bleeding.

"Kikyo betrayed me with Naraku they fucked while I was pissing!" He groaned while convulsing on the ground. "The stupid bitch also gave me aids so now I'm dieing I'm sorry Kagome"

Inuyasha foamed at the mouth and died.

"Serves you right" Sango shouted throwing hirakasou at the corpse.

"Go to hell" Miroku shouted stabbing the mess with his staff

"Durka Durka" Shippo shouted sticking his tongue out.

"You are all invited to my castle in Neverland to live" Sesshoumaru announced.

They all derped their way to happiness.

**The end**

**Yup I'm such a baddie writing this but I must inflict pain unto others for I have suffered too much!**


End file.
